I was going to design the entire website down to the last detail even make a collage of all of the pictures I have on my devices (at least the ones where we have clothes on) and have it fading to white as the sides go twards the middle so you can see the text in the middle. Even the frozen Lou Malnati's on the menu. Then November happened, and December went by with silence on your side and panic on mine. I stil don't know where I stand or what the future has in store for us. But I can say, this website will always be mine no matter what.
I am sorry I ruined this. I am sorry that I didn't ask or get more help. I am sorry that my problems became yours. I am sorry I never learned healthy coping mechanisms. I am sorry that the ones I used went caused a train wreck in both of our lives. I am sorry for not being the man you fell in love with enough. I am sorry that I don't learn from my mistakes until they happen multiple times. I am sorry baby.
You told me to turn my back on us and ignore you, and I'm asking for the exact opposite. I don't want you not to be in my life. I can't let you drift away without putting in a fight to keep you here. You tell me to stop and I will. But short of that or death I will never stop trying. If there is even a slight chance at us, and I mean us under normal conditions. I hope I am not overstepping or anything, but I can mention where I will likely settle in once I am in a better place to do such which will likely be months from now. We bot have offices. I understand if you can't talk about that. I just have no clue what I am doing when it comes to you and I am just doing what I can here and trying my best.
I told you I wanted this to be short so I will stop here. You said in October that "it's important that we at least know we love eachother. So let me make it VERY clear before I leave. I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL NO MATTER WHAT. Happy Valentines Day!